wow. ive been missing for some time now. not that people read it anyways, but den again, haih, fuck it man, i need to update this shit to live my life just like the normal i-dont-study-but-i-got-exams-i-hate-exams-but-i-can-still-blog kinda ppl. yeah, i need to start living like normal people. being different gets u nowhere, well maybe mental asylum wud be a good place but lets not bla bla about that. well the last few days been passing quite quickly, as fast as the duration i spend on sipping my cup of coffee... not dat i din want to finish it but i fell asleep the night before. hmm..what im actually trying to say was (concentrate u motherfucker, stop getting distracted!) that the time is passing me so quick that i feel like an observer in this world, looking at the time passing by so quick and seeing myself through the glass...moving so slowly... being kicked to the back row of the my-life cinema. wow.
yeah , its been a few stressful weeks juggling my time with other activities and slacking hours(need em to be a normal person, remember?) and yeah exam's still not over yet at the moment and yet ive taken this luxury time to blog this shit up. and ive been trying out on new band songs over the net and stuff. i know im a goddamn music fan and all, but the recent hem is kinda different.. his hunger for music is limitlesss... to the point of addiction. if i dont listen to at least one song in an hour, i'll act like a hen trying to lay eggs. the oni difference is dat, this hen is laying a dragon egg and its bothering, very.been listening to saving abel(ironicall their best song is ADDICTED),alien ant farm, angels and airwaves, sparta,armor for sleep, ashes of soma,blue october.. wow. i shud keep this list short cuz ive got plenty of etc's for this one. ive also been some kind of an enigma, changing my characteral behaviours from time to time with contradictory character. hmm.. am i lost again, mama? heh i need more retuning of myself man, need to get back home and let the retuning begin. or maybe im just missing home.
the recent bad patch of arsenal's games also left a sour taste in the mouth and make me feel a bit saddened to see them losing and playing second fiddle to the opponents. of course, being a hardcore fan and a supporter of wenger, i will always stand by him, but c'mon man.. we need to start winning stuff. losing to a team like hull? theyve just sent us to HULL(HELL)!! not giving up yet, just a bit concerned dats all. maybe one or two established players for the bosman transfer, maybe? please... at least satisfy our lingering hunger for established players, wenger..
last but not the freaking least, i'd like to know why this particular person from sunway hasnt been keeping in touch with me these last 3 weeks..is she dead or something? god please tell the stupid girl dat she needs to start keeping in touch with me cuz i dont like ppl coming to me only when u need me, u see. if ur reading this, dont let me come and spank you! stupid monkey!
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Friday, July 4, 2008
i am jack's those 4 wasteful hours
Location: in his crib
Situation: sleepy, after a short nap
Time: 12.32am
Song selection: im not okay(I promise)-mcr
Gets up. Looks around. The animal looks for its prey. None seen. Turns around, reaches the phone. Messages in bulk. Msgs: replied. Goes into deep thoughts. Wakes up, goes to the loo. Washes himself, he goes out of the somewhat congested, oxygen-deprived crib for good. Looks around, all the other housemates fast asleep. Goes out to the balcony, spits twice. He looks around… no moon tonight, that explains the lethargic feeling (freakin astronomer speaking. Somebody please put sense in his head). Sits and keeps looking outside… his eyes wondering...but blank and empty. Looks at the girls block, not a single chick in sight, must’ve had gone back hometown or must be in deep sleep dreaming of prince charming. Sound of some freakin machine gets him distracted from his deep thoughts, his distraction alarm triggers, he’s back from Neverland. One of the housemates wakes up, and asks for the sony ericsson charger, to charge his phone maybe.
Later, the housemate disappears into the darkness (the lights were off).
Time:1:52am
Situation: unexcited, lethargic, hungry, stomach gurgling, feeling really empty
Song selection: hapus aku-nidji
He gets back in his crib, where despite the boring and lifeless feel the crib provides, still is the most happening place for him, in the house, where most exciting activities takes place. But maybe, just maybe, not today. Its just a day too dead to be good. Goes online, found some really interesting notes and blogs by a friend. Got hooked and started reading one by one, hoping sky-high to fall back to sleep. But the notes were so interesting that he felt really awake by now. Plus he found some interesting friends online to chat with.
Time:2.03am
Situation: still feeling lethargic, but more excited now, stomach still bising-bising, in the mood for noises and stuff.
Song selection: chop suey-system of a down, interstate love song-stone temple pilots
Started having this sex education related chat with the most unlikely friend of his, and went in deep thoughts again, and this time he never came back from neverland for quite some time. Thinking… wow! Of all ppl, this girl? Wow. Didn’t see that one coming. Gained a lot of priceless knowledge and actually felt kinda proud of it. Heh, daymmm. She goes off, and he was left alone again. But the song selection changes.
Time:3.00am
Song selection: what’s up people?- maximum the hormone
Grabs a few crackers from the biscuit can. Munches them with the pandan kaya giving a mouthful of assistance, daymmm. Starts listening to songs, starts reminiscing. Felt high after the crackers-munching session. (like that wasn’t expected, sigh). Next, he went to the loo again, thinks about the opening day of Hancock in cinemas today which he just missed by oversleeping, and fuck, that wasn’t expected either. Oh oh, there goes my excitement. Back in neverland with the most unlikely people he wants to meet. Ben Affleck? Fuck him. The thoughts of Ben Affleck brought him back to the real world. He sits back on his chair in the crib thinking what to do. With the thought of sleeping long thrown into the rubbish bin, he starts thinking about what to do in the wee morning. Jogging, blogging, wake a friend up and start talking? None seem like good idea. Grabs a book. Stephen king’s Four Past Midnight, been trying to read that for like ages and he himself cant remember how many times he went to the campus library to renew that piece of thing. And let’s not go to the amount of fines part… he gets headache thinking about that!
Time:4.32am
Song selection: dispatch-the general, sugar, we’re going down-fallout boy
This is the finale. Still doing nothing, the animal gets bored. He looks at his options and being unresourceful this part of the day, he limps on the bed, and hit his leg hard on the corner of the bed. It starts bleeding and being French-blooded mythically, he smiles blankly. After washing off the wound, he now realized the only thing he could do at the moment. Typing what he doesn’t want to keep in mind, the wasteful 4 hours of his freaking life. And if you’ve made it so far till this very word, you are mathematically the most patient person on earth, and you deserve an appreciation award from the animal himself. Go sleep lah noob!!!
Time: does it fucking matter, biatch??
Song selection: superman-five for fighting.oh wait, maybe how to save a life-the fray
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
i am jack's definition of life
What is life? Hard to define, depending on the situation you’re at and the things you’ve went through. Depends on whether you’re being held at gunpoint and struggling to get some space. Or maybe you just woke up from a deep sleep and started to listen to mellow songs…. While sipping some hot coffee and while it starts drizzling slowly and the moon fades and the sound of overjoyed frogs takes over the silence…. Maybe you don’t get the same perspective if you’re awake, driving down the street, to the hospital where you’re working as a doctor… Someone wakes you up at the middle of the night, asking you to come over as there’s an emergency case awaiting treatment…Or, maybe life starts at the beach… where you sip your coconut drink while lazing on the lazy chair, looking at the sea.. and the sexy chicks. Or maybe life’s just about that expensive golden chain you saw through the glass…. Of the gold store. Or you’re lying down on your mini-sized baby bed… staring at the spinning toy hung on the wall… spinning and spinning and spinning as you grow up? Well…life’s all about living it, eh?
No… I’m not begging to differ, either. I’m happy with how everybody seem to be enjoying their lives, in fact im happy with mine as well... wow… life’s so good that it feels almost like unreal…fake? Heh..
Open your eyes. Life’s about happiness and sadness. Happy when you’ve hit that million dollar lottery and driving all the way to collect the prize money.. And sad when you’ve just been mercilessly hit by another car while driving and you know you wont be able to collect the money. Life gives, and takes. Well, hold on, you might see what you deserved… or not. Well… Life.
I’ve seen plenty of things in my life… bitterness, pain, and all the negative thoughts that mingle closely with the happiness of my life. Don’t complain about it, cuz at least you’re alive and kicking. Life has so much to offer, that one whole life wont be enough to discover all the beautiful things. Maybe 7-8 lifes? But than again, we’re not cats, are we?
What is the purpose of your life? Our lives? What about the others? I don’t know about mine, to date. But im pretty sure I will, sooner or later. But I know im not going to live that boring and empty life most people prefer to have. I want mine to be worth living.. and proving to do something great along the way. My definition of something great? Well as far as I know, im not worth the nobel prize. But maybe I can do something to prove my worth… something enough to prove to the people that I can make a difference.. Something good enough so that other people can benefit from me. I haven’t figured out what the fuck im going to do to prove myself, but I know I will.
Of course, I’d still be enjoying my life sipping hot coffee on a rainy day… listening to the mellow songs, early morning, accompanied by the frogs’ overjoyed welcoming celebration of the rain… but I want to do more than that. Try Sondre Lerche by the way....
Sunday, May 25, 2008
i am jack's ideology of an ape
(on an engineering student's point of view. written for the subject, engineers and law.)
What are we? Living organisms with gifted brain? what are our life purposes? Have we ever thought about things like these… it’s a sweet life we’re living in this world. But have we ever thought about all the small things… like the little rain water that drops from the leaves? Like the ripple on the pond when a fish jumps out of it… or the group of army ants on our walking paths? What am I thinking about? Does it sound nonsensical? I don’t know, you tell me. Everybody has his or her own purpose of living… whether he or she is meant to be successful, or meant to die trying. Everybody needs a mark of establishment to leave behind after his or her demise. Engineering is my way of establishment I guess. Or maybe, in the making to great heights to which, only God can judge.
Besides making a mark in our range of study or work, have we ever thought about doing something big? Let me give the hint, how about humanity? How about preserving the environment? How about stopping the war? How about saving the wildlife from sporadic extinction? How about keeping peace and start appreciating unity? If that sounds impossible, how about doing the simpler tasks… like recycling? Maybe joining a campaign in support of the wildlife or campaign against war is good enough. It’s not always about getting in the big picture; it’s about how and why we do it, no? Life is not always about attaining success in terms of having a big car, big house and a wonderful family. Sometimes, we need to pay attention to our surroundings too. The world needs attention… too much destruction had been done; we’ve done enough manipulation on mother earth that we sometimes fail to think and look back at the consequences. Making all these things can be considered as an establishment too, and for me, it might be the mother of all establishments. Why not, it’s the best thing to do to prove our worth to the society.
Care. Do you have what it takes to care enough? What it feels like to have the awareness and the intention to start caring? I don’t know if I'm doing enough on my behalf. But I think I'm trying my best. I don’t know if I'm doing well enough to call myself an environmentalist or humanist, but I'm happy that I have the awareness. Baby steps to reach the top wont hurt, right? So when do we start caring, by the way? Hmm… why wait, why not now? While sitting on the chair, while sipping that drink from your cup, while looking with those bright pair of eyes? We’re not mushrooms growing after the rain, we’re always been here and we’re meant to do the right thing. I think I know my purpose of living… I think mine is to be a better person... To contribute to the society, to contribute to the world, to do something that will make my grandchildren proud of their grandfather. Am I exaggerating? No, I don’t think so. Doing it alone might sound crazy and worthless and might not be a turning point towards anything. But think again, one person doing something will, of course, leave things unscathed, but how if 10 people doing it? or maybe 100? 1000? 10000? Its all a matter of time to realize the awareness and start doing something about it. we human beings are given the extravagant asset that outshines the other organisms, and that is our brain. We can make miracles with it, not to mention destruction if not well-utilized. But that is a different story.
So what I'm saying is that, everyone has his or her purposes and priority in life but realizing it early might lead to a smoother path in future. Everyone wants to succeed, but lets make it a fair deal, succeed, but don’t be ignorant towards the world. Don’t be ignorant towards humanity, towards other people. Don’t let hatred, anger, greed overcome yourself. Be a positivist, seriously it won’t hurt to be one. And remember, God is always watching…its not that He doesn’t have anything else to do, but I guess it might be his purpose of or His priority, maybe, heh…
i am jacks philosophies on love
Love is not all about a guy to a girl. love can be defined as friendship, care, motherly, fatherly, lust. love can be beautiful, love can be ugly. love can be passionate, love can be plain dull. love can construct, and destructs too. love is you, love is me, love is them, love is everywhere.... caring is loving. Love doesn’t ask for return. Love is eternal and indestructible. Defining love is not the end of the world. and there’s still time to think of other things than just waste time on it. Take love as one of the things in life that we need , maybe the one we need the most, maybe the least. Love is great, love is good....... or wait; LOVE CAN JUST BE LOVE. And that's it as it is.-hem the great philosopher
i am jack's singapore island
"ahoy captain jack sparrow, let's go singapore! that's where sao feng is residing, is he not?". heh. stories. how if singapore suddenly sinks?(including the other 63 tiny uninhabited islands around it, just to make it sound juicier) chaos, chaos, chaos, my brother, chaos. not only for them residents of singapore, but also to neighboring countries and countries affiliated to it. ok, lets start assuming what might happen, with some added "preservatives", just to add a better taste to my story here. or else its gonna be a bore. lets exaggerate this thing, okay? point number one, singapore sinks. residents of singapore have no immediate place to stay. so, they'll be swimming to the neighboring country, presumably malaysia, rival country in everything! hehe. next, malaysian government will, of course, accept them. as we know, malaysia's a wonderful country. upon arriving, singaporeans (might) get PR. ahah! isnt that interesting? now, now... where's the boat heading to? its heading to where it should head to of course!
kiasu-ism among malaysians would sporadically spread. malaysians will compare each other in everything, and try to beat their opponents in every way, or will they not? by this, of course, there should be some remarkable upgrades economy-wise. yeah, more competitive. malaysian technology(not AYO technology for gods sake!), said to be 50 years behind japan, might be cut down to errr.... 20 years behind, maybe? hehe... and maybe malaysians will start appreciating their land more, like singaporeans. maybe we can see people finally coming to senses about not keeping their unused land and instead do something about it. plantation-wise, singaporeans might be interested in doing nothing as they are not that good in it anyway. erm... did i say something wrong?
besides that, singaporeans might get some malaysian influence too. after all, they are all human beings too, right? they might change their preception on late marriages and greed to get rich bride or bridegroom. and they might learn to drive like malaysians too (remember our proud record of one of the highest accident records in the world? nice). they might be even willing to support malaysians on mat rempits and pick up the art of vandalization. heh, aren't those things part of malaysian lives, after they said lat's kampung boy is too lame. heh, wtf?
but come to think hor....(shit i might pick up singlish), singaporeans are so good, do they really want to stay in malaysia after all? they would probably end up building an entire whole artificial island to live in instead to beg for malaysian's mercy for a place to stay. they are so good that they might be able to do it in a matter of years. and get back tops.heh.
so where we at? Nothing much to say, really. singapore is the best… (for being biased) but malaysia’s the best! Hahaha joking…
i am jack's (im)perfect homecoming
this is kinda old stuff.
One after another eye, blinking open, I got up from my bed to welcome a long awaited day. Homecoming! I know it sounds exaggerated as I was just going back to my hometown in the ever-raining town of
The plan was set: I am supposed to board a bus from Melaka to
With my thinking tools somewhat rusted at that moment, I decided to give in and be happy with what I get…And voila! My first experience on a double-decker first class coach, and I’m sitting on the stairs! Upon boarding the bus, I saw the bus driver, the broker and the ticket collector swapping money with each other, which I assumed as commission. They were laughing and often mentioned their fortune for the day. It made me all boiling as I realized that I was conned all-along! Everybody gets commission in their cheating game. I kept myself shut till I got home. Throughout the journey, there were down-pouring rain and multiple loads of accidents every here and there. Sigh... the highway could be so dangerous during festive days. Be careful on the road, people!
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