i am jack's modern life

This is the modern life. The modern life. That everyone craves and let their mind linger about. This is it, the big destiny, the thing. The big thing, the big bang, the life you wanted. The life we wanted, everyone. The FUCKING MODERN LIFE.

Where should I begin?

Have you ever felt that most of our lives is fixed? YES, if you still haven’t noticed it yet, you life IS FIXED. Big time man, big time. Reason, you ask? Let me explain. Well… Maybe I should start with a brief explanation about two random people that I met in my daily life that I can take as an example.. shall we?

Case number 1: mr X

Mr x is a hawker. He owns a mobile kuey tiow basah shop, which is, according to our town, Taiping’s standard, good and is considered an old-timer who’s been there for like ever. Some of you taiping residents (or been residents, or for those people who just don’t feel you belong there, just keep on reading) might have noticed this old Chinese guy selling keuy tiow basah opposite the old kamunting maybank and beside the old marrybrown(already closed down) pushing into his late 60’s (or maybe 70’s, or maybe younger, maybe its just that he worked so hard that he looked older than what he should have been) with his wife I assume, close to about the same age as he is. And theres another chindian lady, about late 50’s. these 3 people have been selling kuey tiow basah since the day I was born, or maybe been there for the last 20-30 years, or maybe longer. The guy cooks delicious (ok maybe that’s not the picture, maybe I might be biased and all cuz I admit im an ardent fan of Chinese food) and mouth watering kuey tiows n nasi gorengs. Ok enough of introductions, now to the point ( thank god we’re finally there, honey). The thing about this guy is… he NEVER CHANGED AT ALL. Well, that’s my point. This guy(lets ignore the two ladies for now) he works every night at the same time (presumably around 8) and closes down at the same time(11pm something I guess), wears the same attire for the last few years (the white taiping old-timers’ white t-shirt, old apron and old slacks, same dead eyes, same hairstyle(with more white hair this time around), same dried lips, it’s the same guy. Nothing changes. Even the way he cooks, unsurprisingly, is the same. He would take the same amount of oil, egg, then pours and mixes everything else in the wok and puts ‘em on the plate before serving ‘em. It’s the freakin same thing that he does, all his life, to get the same amount of money. Of course, what he does is none of my business, but I’ll reveal my theory at the later stages of this draggy story.

Case number 2: mr Y

Mr Y is a technician. Not very successful, very middle class and very straightforward-kinda character. An avid kaki TOTO, nombor ekor. He would ask everyone for the 4-digit numbers, even kids as young as 3. well, lets not blame it on him. He doesn’t save much for his future, most of his money is spent on household things at home or other stuff. He recently got married (finally, thank god). The thing about this guy is, his life is fixed as well. Why, you ask? Well.. about this guy, whom I’ve known all my life, the only 2 things that changed in his life are he stopped playing football (he used to be quite good at it, even got called up by the Perak state football team for professional football contract before screwing his knee terribly and stopped playing with immediate effect) and the latter, his marriage. Apart from that, his life remained unchanged and static. His life revolves around his family (he lives with his mom and other brothers and sisters, not that they cant afford to stay outside, but theirs is an orthodox and very close-knit Ceylonese family, so you know, they live together) and his job, his siblings’ kids, his pet dogs (don’t be surprised, he’s got more than 20, about 10 had been shot before by the YOU-KNOW-WHO, due to not having the permit) and so on. He had this dilemma just a few days ago; he had to go to Teluk Intan to accompany his wife (they got married last year, according to Indian culture, first year of Deepavali is celebrated with your wife’s family) but he was scared to leaved his sacred place called home. He also admitted not being away from home for more than 2-3 days and his panic buttons were pressed when his mom asked him to go and justify his traditional duties. Okay im done with my two subjects. Now for the theory.

We’ve been born and bred to succeed as our sole purpose in life. Failure is for the drug addicts. That’s what we’ve been told, and that’s what we were asked to prove… success or failure depends on our well being in future life. Most of our lives are fixed, static, we’ve been programmed to do this, do that, go up the ladder, get promotion, and stay there and play the waiting game. Get old and go straight to heaven. That’s exactly what we’ve been told. Subject 1, mr X, his life is fixed, despite not having a CEO job, he’s there and living. In a very immovable way. He’s fixed his life on providing people with kuey tiow basahs and that’s what he’s going to do while he’s still alive. He’d move the mobile shop to the same place every night and do his thing, undisturbed. Same thing with subject number 2, mr Y. He’ll probably be stuck with his dilemma for the rest of his life being subjected to live his whole life being in that same place till he dies, not knowing the taste of the outside world. Not even knowing how to ice-skate. Mr X’s purpose in life is to sell kuey tiow while mr Y’s purpose in life is to serve his family and stay there in the same town doing the same job, eating the same food, get kids and get old.

What are we? Machines with micro chips in our heads? Aren’t we all, predictable? (well, most of us, yeah) when I said predictable, I was referring to our purposes in life. Ask yourself, what is your purpose in life? Im pretty sure at least 90% of people would say the same shit, “I wanna be an engineer, I wanna be a doctor, I wanna be a chartered accountant, bla bla bla…” in short, “I wanna be successful”. Of course there’s nothing wrong in wanting to be successful. But in doing so, we sacrifice everything else which seems like second-best priority. We forget our other important priorities like having fun while being a kid, or even growing up being a kid before reaching adolescence. Some of us failed to experience playing under the rain, do mischievous things like climbing the tree, getting mudfaced while playing football, skip classes in school to go to library to see the pretty librarians, fighting (as in kid fights, the ones you don’t lose your tooth or something like that). Trust me, all these things are a must do. D’you think all these things are do-able when you’re pushing 40’s? life might start at 40, like they say, but they sure missed the life when they’re 14 I guess. All the parent-pressure and guilty conscience makes us yearn to succeed..but all the little things we missed.. think about that, fellas. While trying to attempt to reach the goals.. we’ve sometimes missed some things that might’ve seem surplus to requirements.

Its fixed. Study hard or study smart, burn midnight oil if necessary, get scholarship(if not, get sponsorship from dad) go to a good college or university, get first upper class degree, find a beautiful wife, get 2 kids with 3 years gap in between, buy a house, buy a car, get settled in life, then pass the baton to your kids for them to do what you’ve been doing in life, have a dull empty nest syndrome, buy a house someplace like country outskirts (I wont be angry if you suggested Taiping, cuz it is called retiree’s paradise for some reason you know) and spend the remaining years of yours, celebrating yearly festivals like raya or Chinese new year, one year after the other, with your children now having their own kids stepping into their shoes. Now what?

It’s a cycle, of course. In my opinion, success in life doesn’t come with good job and curvaceous wife, and a twice-a-week great sex alone. We need to get some life in it as well.. have fun, doesn’t matter if we don’t score all A’s, the most important thing is make others happy, live life to the max, help others, and do some shit that you can reminisce about in the future, where you can say you’ve been there, done that with a mile of smile.

Shun the non-believers, she said.

i am jack's return to the blogster

wow. ive been missing for some time now. not that people read it anyways, but den again, haih, fuck it man, i need to update this shit to live my life just like the normal i-dont-study-but-i-got-exams-i-hate-exams-but-i-can-still-blog kinda ppl. yeah, i need to start living like normal people. being different gets u nowhere, well maybe mental asylum wud be a good place but lets not bla bla about that. well the last few days been passing quite quickly, as fast as the duration i spend on sipping my cup of coffee... not dat i din want to finish it but i fell asleep the night before. hmm..what im actually trying to say was (concentrate u motherfucker, stop getting distracted!) that the time is passing me so quick that i feel like an observer in this world, looking at the time passing by so quick and seeing myself through the glass...moving so slowly... being kicked to the back row of the my-life cinema. wow.

yeah , its been a few stressful weeks juggling my time with other activities and slacking hours(need em to be a normal person, remember?) and yeah exam's still not over yet at the moment and yet ive taken this luxury time to blog this shit up. and ive been trying out on new band songs over the net and stuff. i know im a goddamn music fan and all, but the recent hem is kinda different.. his hunger for music is limitlesss... to the point of addiction. if i dont listen to at least one song in an hour, i'll act like a hen trying to lay eggs. the oni difference is dat, this hen is laying a dragon egg and its bothering, very.been listening to saving abel(ironicall their best song is ADDICTED),alien ant farm, angels and airwaves, sparta,armor for sleep, ashes of soma,blue october.. wow. i shud keep this list short cuz ive got plenty of etc's for this one. ive also been some kind of an enigma, changing my characteral behaviours from time to time with contradictory character. hmm.. am i lost again, mama? heh i need more retuning of myself man, need to get back home and let the retuning begin. or maybe im just missing home.

the recent bad patch of arsenal's games also left a sour taste in the mouth and make me feel a bit saddened to see them losing and playing second fiddle to the opponents. of course, being a hardcore fan and a supporter of wenger, i will always stand by him, but c'mon man.. we need to start winning stuff. losing to a team like hull? theyve just sent us to HULL(HELL)!! not giving up yet, just a bit concerned dats all. maybe one or two established players for the bosman transfer, maybe? please... at least satisfy our lingering hunger for established players, wenger..

last but not the freaking least, i'd like to know why this particular person from sunway hasnt been keeping in touch with me these last 3 weeks..is she dead or something? god please tell the stupid girl dat she needs to start keeping in touch with me cuz i dont like ppl coming to me only when u need me, u see. if ur reading this, dont let me come and spank you! stupid monkey!

i am jack's those 4 wasteful hours

Location: in his crib

Situation: sleepy, after a short nap

Time: 12.32am

Song selection: im not okay(I promise)-mcr

Gets up. Looks around. The animal looks for its prey. None seen. Turns around, reaches the phone. Messages in bulk. Msgs: replied. Goes into deep thoughts. Wakes up, goes to the loo. Washes himself, he goes out of the somewhat congested, oxygen-deprived crib for good. Looks around, all the other housemates fast asleep. Goes out to the balcony, spits twice. He looks around… no moon tonight, that explains the lethargic feeling (freakin astronomer speaking. Somebody please put sense in his head). Sits and keeps looking outside… his eyes wondering...but blank and empty. Looks at the girls block, not a single chick in sight, must’ve had gone back hometown or must be in deep sleep dreaming of prince charming. Sound of some freakin machine gets him distracted from his deep thoughts, his distraction alarm triggers, he’s back from Neverland. One of the housemates wakes up, and asks for the sony ericsson charger, to charge his phone maybe.

Later, the housemate disappears into the darkness (the lights were off).

Time:1:52am

Situation: unexcited, lethargic, hungry, stomach gurgling, feeling really empty

Song selection: hapus aku-nidji

He gets back in his crib, where despite the boring and lifeless feel the crib provides, still is the most happening place for him, in the house, where most exciting activities takes place. But maybe, just maybe, not today. Its just a day too dead to be good. Goes online, found some really interesting notes and blogs by a friend. Got hooked and started reading one by one, hoping sky-high to fall back to sleep. But the notes were so interesting that he felt really awake by now. Plus he found some interesting friends online to chat with.

Time:2.03am

Situation: still feeling lethargic, but more excited now, stomach still bising-bising, in the mood for noises and stuff.

Song selection: chop suey-system of a down, interstate love song-stone temple pilots

Started having this sex education related chat with the most unlikely friend of his, and went in deep thoughts again, and this time he never came back from neverland for quite some time. Thinking… wow! Of all ppl, this girl? Wow. Didn’t see that one coming. Gained a lot of priceless knowledge and actually felt kinda proud of it. Heh, daymmm. She goes off, and he was left alone again. But the song selection changes.

Time:3.00am

Song selection: what’s up people?- maximum the hormone

Grabs a few crackers from the biscuit can. Munches them with the pandan kaya giving a mouthful of assistance, daymmm. Starts listening to songs, starts reminiscing. Felt high after the crackers-munching session. (like that wasn’t expected, sigh). Next, he went to the loo again, thinks about the opening day of Hancock in cinemas today which he just missed by oversleeping, and fuck, that wasn’t expected either. Oh oh, there goes my excitement. Back in neverland with the most unlikely people he wants to meet. Ben Affleck? Fuck him. The thoughts of Ben Affleck brought him back to the real world. He sits back on his chair in the crib thinking what to do. With the thought of sleeping long thrown into the rubbish bin, he starts thinking about what to do in the wee morning. Jogging, blogging, wake a friend up and start talking? None seem like good idea. Grabs a book. Stephen king’s Four Past Midnight, been trying to read that for like ages and he himself cant remember how many times he went to the campus library to renew that piece of thing. And let’s not go to the amount of fines part… he gets headache thinking about that!

Time:4.32am

Song selection: dispatch-the general, sugar, we’re going down-fallout boy

This is the finale. Still doing nothing, the animal gets bored. He looks at his options and being unresourceful this part of the day, he limps on the bed, and hit his leg hard on the corner of the bed. It starts bleeding and being French-blooded mythically, he smiles blankly. After washing off the wound, he now realized the only thing he could do at the moment. Typing what he doesn’t want to keep in mind, the wasteful 4 hours of his freaking life. And if you’ve made it so far till this very word, you are mathematically the most patient person on earth, and you deserve an appreciation award from the animal himself. Go sleep lah noob!!!

Time: does it fucking matter, biatch??

Song selection: superman-five for fighting.oh wait, maybe how to save a life-the fray

i am jack's definition of life

What is life? Hard to define, depending on the situation you’re at and the things you’ve went through. Depends on whether you’re being held at gunpoint and struggling to get some space. Or maybe you just woke up from a deep sleep and started to listen to mellow songs…. While sipping some hot coffee and while it starts drizzling slowly and the moon fades and the sound of overjoyed frogs takes over the silence…. Maybe you don’t get the same perspective if you’re awake, driving down the street, to the hospital where you’re working as a doctor… Someone wakes you up at the middle of the night, asking you to come over as there’s an emergency case awaiting treatment…Or, maybe life starts at the beach… where you sip your coconut drink while lazing on the lazy chair, looking at the sea.. and the sexy chicks. Or maybe life’s just about that expensive golden chain you saw through the glass…. Of the gold store. Or you’re lying down on your mini-sized baby bed… staring at the spinning toy hung on the wall… spinning and spinning and spinning as you grow up? Well…life’s all about living it, eh?

No… I’m not begging to differ, either. I’m happy with how everybody seem to be enjoying their lives, in fact im happy with mine as well... wow… life’s so good that it feels almost like unreal…fake? Heh..

Open your eyes. Life’s about happiness and sadness. Happy when you’ve hit that million dollar lottery and driving all the way to collect the prize money.. And sad when you’ve just been mercilessly hit by another car while driving and you know you wont be able to collect the money. Life gives, and takes. Well, hold on, you might see what you deserved… or not. Well… Life.

I’ve seen plenty of things in my life… bitterness, pain, and all the negative thoughts that mingle closely with the happiness of my life. Don’t complain about it, cuz at least you’re alive and kicking. Life has so much to offer, that one whole life wont be enough to discover all the beautiful things. Maybe 7-8 lifes? But than again, we’re not cats, are we?

What is the purpose of your life? Our lives? What about the others? I don’t know about mine, to date. But im pretty sure I will, sooner or later. But I know im not going to live that boring and empty life most people prefer to have. I want mine to be worth living.. and proving to do something great along the way. My definition of something great? Well as far as I know, im not worth the nobel prize. But maybe I can do something to prove my worth… something enough to prove to the people that I can make a difference.. Something good enough so that other people can benefit from me. I haven’t figured out what the fuck im going to do to prove myself, but I know I will.

Of course, I’d still be enjoying my life sipping hot coffee on a rainy day… listening to the mellow songs, early morning, accompanied by the frogs’ overjoyed welcoming celebration of the rain… but I want to do more than that. Try Sondre Lerche by the way....

i am jack's ideology of an ape

(on an engineering student's point of view. written for the subject, engineers and law.)

What are we? Living organisms with gifted brain? what are our life purposes? Have we ever thought about things like these… it’s a sweet life we’re living in this world. But have we ever thought about all the small things… like the little rain water that drops from the leaves? Like the ripple on the pond when a fish jumps out of it… or the group of army ants on our walking paths? What am I thinking about? Does it sound nonsensical? I don’t know, you tell me. Everybody has his or her own purpose of living… whether he or she is meant to be successful, or meant to die trying. Everybody needs a mark of establishment to leave behind after his or her demise. Engineering is my way of establishment I guess. Or maybe, in the making to great heights to which, only God can judge.

Besides making a mark in our range of study or work, have we ever thought about doing something big? Let me give the hint, how about humanity? How about preserving the environment? How about stopping the war? How about saving the wildlife from sporadic extinction? How about keeping peace and start appreciating unity? If that sounds impossible, how about doing the simpler tasks… like recycling? Maybe joining a campaign in support of the wildlife or campaign against war is good enough. It’s not always about getting in the big picture; it’s about how and why we do it, no? Life is not always about attaining success in terms of having a big car, big house and a wonderful family. Sometimes, we need to pay attention to our surroundings too. The world needs attention… too much destruction had been done; we’ve done enough manipulation on mother earth that we sometimes fail to think and look back at the consequences. Making all these things can be considered as an establishment too, and for me, it might be the mother of all establishments. Why not, it’s the best thing to do to prove our worth to the society.

Care. Do you have what it takes to care enough? What it feels like to have the awareness and the intention to start caring? I don’t know if I'm doing enough on my behalf. But I think I'm trying my best. I don’t know if I'm doing well enough to call myself an environmentalist or humanist, but I'm happy that I have the awareness. Baby steps to reach the top wont hurt, right? So when do we start caring, by the way? Hmm… why wait, why not now? While sitting on the chair, while sipping that drink from your cup, while looking with those bright pair of eyes? We’re not mushrooms growing after the rain, we’re always been here and we’re meant to do the right thing. I think I know my purpose of living… I think mine is to be a better person... To contribute to the society, to contribute to the world, to do something that will make my grandchildren proud of their grandfather. Am I exaggerating? No, I don’t think so. Doing it alone might sound crazy and worthless and might not be a turning point towards anything. But think again, one person doing something will, of course, leave things unscathed, but how if 10 people doing it? or maybe 100? 1000? 10000? Its all a matter of time to realize the awareness and start doing something about it. we human beings are given the extravagant asset that outshines the other organisms, and that is our brain. We can make miracles with it, not to mention destruction if not well-utilized. But that is a different story.

So what I'm saying is that, everyone has his or her purposes and priority in life but realizing it early might lead to a smoother path in future. Everyone wants to succeed, but lets make it a fair deal, succeed, but don’t be ignorant towards the world. Don’t be ignorant towards humanity, towards other people. Don’t let hatred, anger, greed overcome yourself. Be a positivist, seriously it won’t hurt to be one. And remember, God is always watching…its not that He doesn’t have anything else to do, but I guess it might be his purpose of or His priority, maybe, heh…

i am jacks philosophies on love

Love is not all about a guy to a girl. love can be defined as friendship, care, motherly, fatherly, lust. love can be beautiful, love can be ugly. love can be passionate, love can be plain dull. love can construct, and destructs too. love is you, love is me, love is them, love is everywhere.... caring is loving. Love doesn’t ask for return. Love is eternal and indestructible. Defining love is not the end of the world. and there’s still time to think of other things than just waste time on it. Take love as one of the things in life that we need , maybe the one we need the most, maybe the least. Love is great, love is good....... or wait; LOVE CAN JUST BE LOVE. And that's it as it is.-hem the great philosopher

i am jack's singapore island

"ahoy captain jack sparrow, let's go singapore! that's where sao feng is residing, is he not?". heh. stories. how if singapore suddenly sinks?(including the other 63 tiny uninhabited islands around it, just to make it sound juicier) chaos, chaos, chaos, my brother, chaos. not only for them residents of singapore, but also to neighboring countries and countries affiliated to it. ok, lets start assuming what might happen, with some added "preservatives", just to add a better taste to my story here. or else its gonna be a bore. lets exaggerate this thing, okay? point number one, singapore sinks. residents of singapore have no immediate place to stay. so, they'll be swimming to the neighboring country, presumably malaysia, rival country in everything! hehe. next, malaysian government will, of course, accept them. as we know, malaysia's a wonderful country. upon arriving, singaporeans (might) get PR. ahah! isnt that interesting? now, now... where's the boat heading to? its heading to where it should head to of course!

kiasu-ism among malaysians would sporadically spread. malaysians will compare each other in everything, and try to beat their opponents in every way, or will they not? by this, of course, there should be some remarkable upgrades economy-wise. yeah, more competitive. malaysian technology(not AYO technology for gods sake!), said to be 50 years behind japan, might be cut down to errr.... 20 years behind, maybe? hehe... and maybe malaysians will start appreciating their land more, like singaporeans. maybe we can see people finally coming to senses about not keeping their unused land and instead do something about it. plantation-wise, singaporeans might be interested in doing nothing as they are not that good in it anyway. erm... did i say something wrong?

chewing gums will be most probably be banned after some long debates in the parliaments with singaporeans dictating this topic. hurmm... without chewies, most ex smokers might get back to fags and that wont do much help on preventing 'tak-nak' to smoke. and of course, wrigley's company will lose some big amount of money as their manufactured goods are banned in malaysia.

apart from that, the famous usage of "lah" will get more popular among malaysians that its gonna be in our country's dictionary too, just like theirs. heh, it'll be fun i guess, let's use it, lah! and start 'hor'ring.( but u see hor, this is how singaporeans talk. donkey style? haha) and let's start speaking like phua chu kang. (as a matter of fact, i love phua chu kang, he's da man!) he made our life merrier and made us less reliant to us shows that took away our lives (at least mine, being a couch potato wasn't my idea until fresh prince of bel air,home improvement, mcgywer, etc old shows took away part of my life followed by dawson's creek, x-files and smallville etc further harmed my easy-to-be-influenced and enthusiastic little brain.

besides that, singaporeans might get some malaysian influence too. after all, they are all human beings too, right? they might change their preception on late marriages and greed to get rich bride or bridegroom. and they might learn to drive like malaysians too (remember our proud record of one of the highest accident records in the world? nice). they might be even willing to support malaysians on mat rempits and pick up the art of vandalization. heh, aren't those things part of malaysian lives, after they said lat's kampung boy is too lame. heh, wtf?

but come to think hor....(shit i might pick up singlish), singaporeans are so good, do they really want to stay in malaysia after all? they would probably end up building an entire whole artificial island to live in instead to beg for malaysian's mercy for a place to stay. they are so good that they might be able to do it in a matter of years. and get back tops.heh.

so where we at? Nothing much to say, really. singapore is the best… (for being biased) but malaysia’s the best! Hahaha joking…

i am jack's (im)perfect homecoming

this is kinda old stuff.

One after another eye, blinking open, I got up from my bed to welcome a long awaited day. Homecoming! I know it sounds exaggerated as I was just going back to my hometown in the ever-raining town of Taiping, Perak for a short study break from my university in Melaka. Even though I'm most probably going to spend the next 4 days at home studying for my final exams, the thought of meeting the survivors of the grueling STPM examinations and overseas-based friends back home got me overjoyed. To heighten up my excitement, it was also Hari Raya Haji and I was looking forward to taste my friends’ mouth-lingering rendangs and ketupats. I quickly got myself prepared and all geared up for the day.

The plan was set: I am supposed to board a bus from Melaka to Kuala Lumpur, and continue my journey from to Taiping with another bus. The journey to Kuala Lumpur was good and I dozed off, tired. Upon reaching Pudu Raya, I searched for bus counters selling tickets to Taiping. To my astonishment, all the tickets to Taiping were sold out! I approached a lady at one of the counters to confirm my misfortune. With a sour-faced face and a silent ‘no’, she turned back, continuing to look for other ticket buyers. As I was leaving, I saw her grabbing her walkie-talkie. Suddenly she started shouting “Taiping,Taiping!!” marking the availability of the ticket. Happy that my prayers were answered, I quickly returned and bought the ticket which was extravagantly more expensive than usual, but my temptations were irresistible and left with no choice anyway. She further convinced me that it was a double-decker bus with first class coach, which added to my enthusiasm in boarding the bus. I spent the next 2 hours at McD’s to kill time while waiting for the bus. Finally, I went to the actual platform to board my bus. I was redirected by a bus broker to another, who took me to the bus. To my horror, he explained to me that the bus was full. “How can that be possible, Bang, I came exactly 10 minutes early and I have the ticket? It can’t be…” “Sabar Dik, the counter people are simply selling the ticket without counting them,” he said with his strong Indonesian accent. Feeling cheated, I continued asking questions as I was surprised this was happening as it is a prominent bus company. Anger cells morphed to the top of my head and I felt that my consumerism rights were being exploited, and myself, victimized. His irrelevant reasons about festive-day error and constant finger pointing at the human-sandwiched bus didn’t convince me. Besides me, there were other people in the same boat as I am, too. The bus driver gave me a Hobson’s choice in the end, “sit on the stairs till you get back home or board another bus.”

With my thinking tools somewhat rusted at that moment, I decided to give in and be happy with what I get…And voila! My first experience on a double-decker first class coach, and I’m sitting on the stairs! Upon boarding the bus, I saw the bus driver, the broker and the ticket collector swapping money with each other, which I assumed as commission. They were laughing and often mentioned their fortune for the day. It made me all boiling as I realized that I was conned all-along! Everybody gets commission in their cheating game. I kept myself shut till I got home. Throughout the journey, there were down-pouring rain and multiple loads of accidents every here and there. Sigh... the highway could be so dangerous during festive days. Be careful on the road, people!

As I got home, I kept thinking about what happened today. Why is this happening, especially in our country? We are being taken advantage of, because nobody dares to voice themselves and question on their rights, or simply don’t care at all. I beg to differ! It might be a small problem, but a problem remains a problem unless something is done. Letting corrupt individuals born and grow in numbers sporadically is a sin. Mind you, this is not a matter of bruised ego, it’s all about consumerism. Unless Malaysians start to value it or do something about it, this lingering problem is just going to swell and like we have already knew, consequences hurt. I

i am jack's craving for mass make over(0445)

well, it's been 20 years since the day i was born and cuddled,pampered, cultivated. and here i am, now. to say ive not grown up or think properly is beyond my judgment. but the one thing i know is.. my decisions are vital to becoming what i am, i am my decisions. lately ive been handed the task of handling numerous problems which further expands my life and further matures me. even though i dont know if im doing my 'homework' well, i know i'm surviving and im good at surviving. i know its that ssdd (same shit, different day) period again...

to say im not having fun is not true. i am having fun every here and there. but i've also had the share of problems like losing some friends, slacking when it is close to the final exam, being flirty towards people that i dont really know, for no reasons, becoming more lazy than ever, and the fact that my day starts at night and my night starts at day. and sometimes i dont even see sunlight at all. i've lost balance of my diet or my alarming weight rise, and ive somehow became a little more hot tempered than before. not to say ive never been through this period though, but the fact that im going through all these when im particularly in no big crises somehow confuses me. well, its still a small problem, as you can see, and i know im wasting my space and time by typing it all out, but life's like that, if i dont type it now, i know i will do it anyway in the near future.

moving on, there are always solutions to problems, so ive decided to make solutions to better myself before i get sucked into that big black hole of idleness. im a survivor! im going to bounce back to make it all right, and no matter what it costs. if i need to change everything in my life, im willing to do it, if its going to change my whole personality, so be it. im ready to change myself and change myself. first of all, im going to get rid of all the friends that i dont really need or the people who drains my energy by their own problems and stuff. i think deserve more from these people who never actually appreciated me, so i guess its high time. and of course, i want to find new friends who actually understands me and cares about my feelings, the same way i care for them. next, im going to stay for longer periods in campus to study and do my stuff instead of being at home and doing nothing. this should help in overcoming almost half of my problems. thirdly, i want to see more sunlight! this current screw-up-of-the-biological clock-period-of-the-year-shit-im-so-fucked period is killing me! and of course, im going to care less about people around me, and stop caring too much for these people. instead, im going to love myself more and appreciate myself and understand more about what i deserve and what i should do to make myself happy and proud of myself.

having said that, do i regret doing all these? i dont think so. in fact, im looking forward for all these to happen. well, life's like that. i know im going to have all the fun in the world and im going to make people jealous of my life... and until it happens, im not going to stop i guess. heh. no matter how much it rains, you can always come out and play with or without the umbrella. have a nice day, fellas..

i am jack's first blooming flower of the summer

i am jack's start of a new thing to do. this is the start of the new blog. after friendsterblog, youthmalaysia, and now, the common thing, blogspot. hmmm... i don't know if its a good decision, but it appeals to me. hopefully i'll start to blog good stuff that appeals to myself! hmm.. ok, here's for the first blog. ME.

HEM: a mysterious dark creature that lives on the trees of ailanthus althissima. with dark brown complexion and sharp (but lazy) eyes, it moves slowly, crawling with minimum sound made while moving. it can be spotted in temperate climates rather than the tropics. but recently it has been spotted running around naked on the west coast of madagascar. Hems are soft and sensitive creatures. they shy away from the unknown territories but they tend to get aggressive when attacked. they love good company and friendly when approached. they feed on healthy food and dislike food that are too raw. they love to eat chicken, and that is the only non-vege product that they consume. a Hem can consume up to 3000 calories worth of food. this explains the tummy it carries once it reaches puberty. most Hems are caring and love babies.

A Hem can run very fast and is known to be a very active creature. it also likes to do unpredictable things when least expected. it hunts for its prey, hidden and being extremely silent, close to muting itself. hem can also be rough at times, as hem can get its period or mood swings, whether its a male Hem or a female Hem. hem is known to be prone to get homesick when away from its habitat for to long. often most Hems suffer homesickness and usually craves to go back home. a hem is also known to be bad in math. sigh!

Being small sized, a Hem is always mistaken to being taken as a pig. but mind you, pigs don't smell like Hem and most Hems are technically smarter than pigs and this has been scientifically proven by louis pasteur, famous organic chemist of the 19th century. Hem is also easily intimidated but tend to be patient until its button is really pushed. most Hems can stay awake for more than 3 days continuously.

A hem is also very blah blah blah blah blah oh stop it! enough of self proclamations, now its time for real blogs.. oh well... will blog real blogs, real soon. so wait for me to do so, people! hehe. have a nice day!! i am jack's sleepy pig.