i am jack's craving for mass make over(0445)

well, it's been 20 years since the day i was born and cuddled,pampered, cultivated. and here i am, now. to say ive not grown up or think properly is beyond my judgment. but the one thing i know is.. my decisions are vital to becoming what i am, i am my decisions. lately ive been handed the task of handling numerous problems which further expands my life and further matures me. even though i dont know if im doing my 'homework' well, i know i'm surviving and im good at surviving. i know its that ssdd (same shit, different day) period again...

to say im not having fun is not true. i am having fun every here and there. but i've also had the share of problems like losing some friends, slacking when it is close to the final exam, being flirty towards people that i dont really know, for no reasons, becoming more lazy than ever, and the fact that my day starts at night and my night starts at day. and sometimes i dont even see sunlight at all. i've lost balance of my diet or my alarming weight rise, and ive somehow became a little more hot tempered than before. not to say ive never been through this period though, but the fact that im going through all these when im particularly in no big crises somehow confuses me. well, its still a small problem, as you can see, and i know im wasting my space and time by typing it all out, but life's like that, if i dont type it now, i know i will do it anyway in the near future.

moving on, there are always solutions to problems, so ive decided to make solutions to better myself before i get sucked into that big black hole of idleness. im a survivor! im going to bounce back to make it all right, and no matter what it costs. if i need to change everything in my life, im willing to do it, if its going to change my whole personality, so be it. im ready to change myself and change myself. first of all, im going to get rid of all the friends that i dont really need or the people who drains my energy by their own problems and stuff. i think deserve more from these people who never actually appreciated me, so i guess its high time. and of course, i want to find new friends who actually understands me and cares about my feelings, the same way i care for them. next, im going to stay for longer periods in campus to study and do my stuff instead of being at home and doing nothing. this should help in overcoming almost half of my problems. thirdly, i want to see more sunlight! this current screw-up-of-the-biological clock-period-of-the-year-shit-im-so-fucked period is killing me! and of course, im going to care less about people around me, and stop caring too much for these people. instead, im going to love myself more and appreciate myself and understand more about what i deserve and what i should do to make myself happy and proud of myself.

having said that, do i regret doing all these? i dont think so. in fact, im looking forward for all these to happen. well, life's like that. i know im going to have all the fun in the world and im going to make people jealous of my life... and until it happens, im not going to stop i guess. heh. no matter how much it rains, you can always come out and play with or without the umbrella. have a nice day, fellas..